40in40 – Blue Velvet

12May09

My Netflix rating: 3/5 stars… it’s a good idea, but the acting and directing was so freaking awkward. maybe that’s what david lynch was going for.  whatever.

I have this theory, a notion, if you will…  There are moments in our lives, in mine especially, where we think some of the craziest thoughts.  During these moments, typically in the middle of the night, our minds wander to the darkest corners of themselves and uncover the narliest dreams.  Except they’re not quite dreams, are they?  They’re very real.  They’re the answers to our problems.  They’re the vivid enactments of everything we want to happen the next day.  These thoughts are the clay that morph into the greatest masterpieces, the dramas of the best stories and the melodies of our favorite songs.  Oh, they’re real, alright.  In fact, they’re sometimes so real that we never want them to go away.  These ideas and dreams are what I call, “true to the night.”

I once had a restless slumber and I found myself laying bed just staring at the ceiling.  In the bumps and grooves of the asbestos, I could see the story in my head play out right in front of me.  It was suddenly as bright as day, even though the moon couldn’t break through the curtains.  I walked up to my history teacher and told him that I had the solution to all the problems of mankind.  The solution was so simple, that night.  The steps were clear in my head and they were foolproof.  World peace could finally be realized!  All I had to do was share these ideas with my teacher tomorrow.  He would surely agree with me, because it all made so much sense.

Sure as hell, I eventually woke up the next day.  I always do.  For some reason, we can never make the nights last long enough, as ridiculous as they are.  And when we look back at the things we thought about, sometimes we cry, sometimes we laugh, but almost certainly we write them off as false.  They were just crazy thoughts stirring in our delirious minds.  They were silly; we were silly.  So naïve and ignorant.  But if we can’t seem to sleep again the next night, or the night after, the thoughts all come back.  And they’re real again, just like they were before.  At night, these dreams blend too much with reality, or reality becomes more dreamlike.  Either way we can’t trust either of them anymore, but we can’t dismiss them either.

These ideas are true to the night.  And if we can trick the night into staying a little longer, we find that we can expand these truths into narratives and entire worlds.  It’s not unlike Plato’s Allegory of Cave.  When all we know are the conjured shadows on the wall, who’s to say they’re not real?  What’s more real?  What if we can convince the rest of the world to join us?  Would it be real, then?

When I’m planning retreats for church and camp, I often slip in a state of delirium.  It’s not always on purpose.  If you know anything about planning programs for kids, it’s almost impossible to maintain a rational, adult mindset.  But it works.  The ambience at these retreats is usually very similar to that of a late night study session.  People are tired, their brains are mush, and everybody is a little bit more receptive to new ideas.  Everything’s a little bit more true.

At night, the shadows reign supreme.  Ideas and dreams run rampant across the city.  They inspire us to explore outside our normal realms.  And if that’s crazy, then I don’t want truth.

“Why are you here?  What do you want?  I looked for you in my closet tonight.  It’s crazy, I know.  I don’t know where you come from, but… I like you.  I liked being with you last night.  Please be with me.  Be with me, please.” –Dorothy Vallens

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Filed under: 40in40, findings in conversation   |  2 Comments
Tags: allegory of the cave, blue velvet, true to the night